Police say a Florida man masturbated to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue in a Sarasota Walmart. Yes, this is already weird and it gets creepier. The man did this in the toy aisle, unleashing his semen onto the floor.
Wait, it gets better… because he then wiped his hand on the nearest thing he could find: a toy Star Wars lightsaber.
William Tyler Black, a 28-year-old substitute teacher, claimed he was looking for a toy for his daughter.
Did he just involve his daughter in this mess…
The sicko, allegedly told police afterward, “I swear I’m not a pervert.”
Nope. Just a really big fan of Star Wars and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue who got very excited when he found both in the same place. – GMD