Monthly Archives: January 2011

Rick Santorum: The People Have Spoken

His Neighbor Wrote This

Rick Santorum, is probably a political figure of some sort (I don’t care enough to check) or some business owner in a part of America, where taking a picture with a shotgun makes people say, “I want to buy crap from that guy”. The point is Ricky here is oblivious hatred in his town (see Rick its not just your parents). The idiot that took the time to vandalize the billboard, didn’t take the time to spell check the word “needs”. Besides that, Rick you have been outed. – GMD

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The New Standard for Second Base

TSA worker: "I have felt C4 before, this is too meaty."

Homeland Security, has taken a lot of flack lately about their new full body scanners and full body checks (like the uncomfortable photo above). I think TSA is doing a public service, well at least in San Francisco. How does another man shoving his hand up into my groin, help the fight against terrorism. The only terrorist being caught here is testicular cancer (cancer, you had it coming). TSA please find another way to find the threatening things you are searching for and stop making me feel uncomfortable after you jiggle my friends below. I mean come on how can say, “Thank you for keep America safe, after you Gitmo raped me”. – GMD

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Cut Out the Middle Man (or The Milk Man)

Dare I say, "She has a milk mustache". Sorry.

Sometimes when you see a photo, the reaction is more priceless than the actual photo itself. When I saw this, my reaction was vomit. Maybe this photo comes from the set of the new show “Fear Factor: India” which is weird because the cow is sacred to them. Even if so, this a weird way to show your gratitude and loyalty (maybe not… never mind). The point is lady milk is easy to get, stop by the supermarket and do as all American’s do. Buy the milk, BBQ the meat. Yeah America. – GMD

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Everyday Normal Guy

Hey GMD Family,

Jon Lajoie is a hilarious comedian and actor (check out The League on FX), here is a video of his. Everyday Normal Guy!

(Sorry, if you are offended by the profanity)

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Housing Complaints

These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and Housing associations throughout the UK:

Enjoy the stupidity – GMD

1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

3. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off.

5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?

7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.

8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.

15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

16. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have had no satisfaction.

17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus in it.

18. He’s got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it any more.

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IKEA: Your Wrong For This.

This commercial made me nauseous. I can’t understand why they would use that thing in a ad. You got to see this. – GMD

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