Category Archives: Dumbness Stories

Damn White Man…

Today, a Native American gentleman walked into my office to handle some paperwork. A co-worker asked him, “Where did he get those awesome feathers in his hat?” The man explained, “The feathers were passed down from generation to generation. Given to warriors who fought in great battles against the pilgrims.”  My co-worker with a face of amazement asked, “How did you live so many years after your fight with the pilgrims?” The man stopped talking after that question. – GMD

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Blame Infomercials for Moral Decay

I hope this guy goes out of business. This if anything is the most annoying commercial on TV, besides those Massengill commercials from the 80’s (will post one soon). Anyways, watch and enjoy! – GMD

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Pissed-at-Men Syndrome

It’s funny, the thing teenagers get worked up over. So, you’ve managed to develop a miniscule blemish on your face the morning of school picture day? And the new shirt you bought especially for the occasion is currently in the wash? Yes, that is a completely acceptable reason to cry your mascara-ed up eyeballs out and threaten never to set foot outside your room again.

Well, one 15 year old in Washington has taken teen angst to the extreme. After her father took her phone away, she decided to demonstrate her disagreement by shooting him with a hunting bow. According to MSNBC, he then had to crawl all the way to a neighbor’s house (in critical condition) to call 911, because she wouldn’t even let him use the phone. Our little rebel then fled into the woods where she was eventually surrounded by the police and arrested. So, next time you start to think maybe you’re being a brat to your parents, and they deserve to be treated a little nicer because of all they’ve done for you….remember, compared to that, you’re an angel. – GMD

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Montel Williams, from Talk Show host to Weed Man

Montel Williams, the once famous talk show host. Has decided to open his own medical marijuana dispensary in Sacramento, CA. The future smoke house the bald headed talk beast, will be a place of “education” as he stated in his comments:

“We believe they’re coming in here to be educated,” Williams told News 10 of potential customers. “They’re coming in here so they can feel comfortable, so to make them feel comfortable we’re going to be providing them with more information and more guidance than I believe any facility in this country is attempting to do.”

You do your thing Montel, make sure you smoke the weed after the shop is done and open. You won’t anything done if you start now. – GMD

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America Meet Your Wiener…

America is full of people that we dislike, here is one that you might upgrade to pure hatred. Anthony Dickhead decided that it would be interesting to post pictures of himself shirtless on his Twitter account. He claims to send the pictures to a girl that was following him (by the way, she might be a minor too). Apparently the pictures like his judgement got loose and caused a huge issue. He also posted pictures of his penis as well to share with his friends, like a picture of a penis will guarantee a great turn out at the polls (no pun intended). When confronted about the pictures, Anthony blamed hackers for the posts on his Twitter account. Of course, politicians can’t lie to save their lives (Clinton, Bush Sr. and Jr., Nixon – just naming a few). Now, in a act that defines pride and ego. Anthony refuses to resign and wants to stay in congress. Well Mr. Wiener, just like your dick photos you will be out as well. Take care and happy photographing. – GMD

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Little Girl + Dead Squirrel = Horrible Parenting

I love how Dad has not thought about some crazy disease that the squirrel could have. Love you Dad for squirrel AIDS. – GMD

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Housing Complaints

These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and Housing associations throughout the UK:

Enjoy the stupidity – GMD

1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

3. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off.

5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?

7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.

8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.

15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

16. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have had no satisfaction.

17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus in it.

18. He’s got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it any more.

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I Think I Know Who Did It

Terrell, the police want to talk to you during the commercial break.

Another black man on the news and he also works at the news station. That has to suck.

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