Tag Archives: dumbass

Damn White Man…

Today, a Native American gentleman walked into my office to handle some paperwork. A co-worker asked him, “Where did he get those awesome feathers in his hat?” The man explained, “The feathers were passed down from generation to generation. Given to warriors who fought in great battles against the pilgrims.”  My co-worker with a face of amazement asked, “How did you live so many years after your fight with the pilgrims?” The man stopped talking after that question. – GMD

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GMD: Picture of the Day

A shark attack at Bondi Beach, which made headlines around the world, never occurred and the man who made the claim has been arrested for theft, sources say.

Scott Wright had told reporters on the weekend that he thought he was a “goner” after being bitten on the arm by a shark on Friday night.

The last attack at Bondi was 70 years ago.

Even as late as today lifeguards at Bondi thought a wobbegong shark might have been responsible

But sources say, that Wright injured himself when his arm went through a glass window  – several days before the alleged shark attack.

It was only on Saturday morning, after a woman asked how he received his injuries that he said he was bitten by a shark, the sources said.

He was treated for his injuries and received dozens of stitches at Sydney hospital.

Wright is currently in jail after appearing in a Sydney court yesterday on car theft and robbery charges that allegedly were committed in Bondi sometime between Monday night and Tuesday – after the alleged shark attack.

He did not apply for bail and has been ordered to appear in court on February 18.

When news broke about the alleged shark mauling, Wright claimed he made his way ashore where he had passed out from the pain on some rocks.

He lay there until the morning when he was found by his girlfriend.

“The shark attacked me, grabbed hold of my arm and wouldn’t let go,” Mr Wright told the Ten Network. “So I ended up punching him in the nose and trying to fight him off.

“I thought I was a goner, I thought I was gonna die.”

Bondi lifeguards have said they often see sharks in deeper water off the beach, but rarely close in.

Detective Inspector Jason Smith at Waverley police station said the alleged shark attack had not been reported to police.

“We don’t  know how he sustained those injuries at this point in time,” he said.

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Honor Roll Student

Here is a perfect bumper sticker, that may never be printed:

“Your son might be an honor roll student, but you’re still a dumbass.” – GMD

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